I am finally awake enough to update… Sunday night, I went to the ER with a collapsed left lung. I don’t think I’ve been through anything this painful before. It’s worse than any pleurisy or broken bone I’ve had before. This sucks but I’m happy I have things to be excited about seeing when I get better.
the importance of taking care by brookeshaden on Flickr.
This is my freaking life with four cats….
(via monsieur-meursault)
(Source: rachel-k)
About that last one…
Lol, sorry I couldn’t resist… I’m still in a severely depressed fog so I’ll take my little chuckles where I can find them.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
This actually brought tears to my eyes. This should be shown to all those ignorant people that believe once you get tattoos and piercings you lose your hearts and humanity and instantly become some sort of devil worshiper, the amount of peoples parents I’d love to play this to wow. This is the most precious thing ever!
This video really hit home…
For Bailey’s first year I was a stay at home dad and a single father for those last 6 months of the first year. I had Bailey with me whenever I did ANYTHING! I took her to tattoo shops, parks, movies, out to lunch, to the park, mall, shows, etc…EVERYwhere with me and I got the dirtiest, nastiest, meanest looks from people and would even have people say things to me about how Bailey was going to grow up to be a terrible person because of me…All based on how I look.
If any of these idiots would take the time to think how fucking HARD it is to be a single parent ESPECIALLY a single parent covered in tattoos, they would realize the error in their ways. After a while I was quick to turn the other cheek, but who in the world gives some stranger the fucking authority to designate who will or will not turn out to be a good parent?
Fuck you ‘classic style of living’. We’re here to take you down.
(Source: papakish, via throwyoutothezombies)
SET BABIES ON FIRE: I feel like being suicidal is a lot like being an alcoholic. Did you...
I feel like being suicidal is a lot like being an alcoholic. Did you know they consider someone an alcoholic their entire life once they’re diagnosed, even if they sober up? I feel like once you’re suicidal there’s always that nagging voice in the back of your head that tells you it’d be easier…
This really made me think about myself and the thoughts and feelings I internalize and push away… in high school I used to cut, drink excessively, take too many pain killers, mix alcohol and pain killers in hopes for an “accident” and I’ve gotten past that but now I wonder if not taking care of myself is my subconscious still stuck in a suicidal rut. It’s not as obvious as what I did in high school, but neglecting myself still seems like some form of self mutilation knowing how much damage I’m doing to myself and the risks of not staying on top of my treatment.
8 months ago - 
494
494 It’s easier to get pulled down than it is to pull someone up….
I’ve realized something today… the people I intentionally connect with and focus my attention on are usually people who are in a dark place in their lives. People who need to be brought up and encouraged to reach for a better place. I am a very positive person, so you would think I would gravitate towards other positive people. But no, I feel this intense need to be the optimistic voice in peoples lives. I want to be that positive, happy influence when the people I love need it most. The problem is that I choose such depressed people that I overwhelm myself and I begin taking on their emotion and pain. I don’t realize it at first because I suppress it and ignore it. I brush it off as just being irrational and bottle it up in hopes that it will just go away. That’s when I get to where I am now. I’ve been so stressed out internally and I’ve been ignoring it so it’s just been eating away at me, bringing down my energy, my immune system, my general health, my drive to get through the day… When I missed school on Thursday, I slept all day. Then when I was off of school, I slept all day Sunday, all day yesterday and today I’ve been battling myself to stay awake and out of bed. I haven’t eaten, I’ve only done two treatments and I’m upset because he’s having a very bad day and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t help his issues with his ex wife, I can’t help get the contacts and schedule from his destroyed phone, I can’t magically find the number for the guy working on his bike that he needs to call… I’m useless right now and for me (totally not to take away that this is about him) that’s the worst feeling ever. I hate being useless. Not only am I upset that he’s upset, but I’m upset because I can’t change anything.
Pens don’t write books, authors do. Guns don’t kill people, people with guns do. Dogs don’t become aggressive for no reason, irresponsible owners let them get that way.
(Source: fuckyeahthebetterlife, via nickyjayyy)
msjennyanthem asked: Hey! I saw you on my boyfriends blog and he has CF as well. I read your earlier post and I have to say you are extremely strong. You have got the ability to be healthy and you will be. I wish nothing but the best for you. <3
Thank you so much!! That really means a lot to me. I wish the best of health to your boyfriend and the best to you as well =)
cammichael asked: Hey! Saw your post about CF and medical responsibilities and stuff :). You obviously have a more annoyingly severe case than I do, but I know how it feels to have to change your life around a little bit to fit these treatments in (I was diagnosed about a month ago). I'd love to offer my services as a reminder-person, but I have a terrible memory as it is and have trouble remembering my own treatments. Just wanted to drop you a line and say- you got this, sista! :P
Oh wow, I always forget that there are cases where you can go for years without knowing you have CF. My case has been a struggle my whole life, I was diagnosed a few months after I was born so by this point it has grown into a real pain. Thank you for the encouragement though =) If you’re a checklist kinda person, go to CFvoice.com and download the treatment tracker, it helps for those forgetful moments. Unfortunately my problem is just my will to do what I’m supposed to do. I remember, I just decide it’s not important enough to me at the time. Do whatever you can to not end up like me lol =p
